Run Report for Run Number 116 -- April 19, 2015;
Disclaimer: The following proves that "truth" is a highly subjective thing.
Hares: MISS MARY POPPINS, LUSTY, JUST DENNIS
MISS MARY POPPINS lived a dangerous life. Firstly, being Canadian he looked and sounded like an American and suffered the consequences as a result. Abuse and attacks on his person were commonplace. He had even been shot at several times, and on each occasion he was thankful the Yanks couldn’t make weapons that shot straight and hadn’t won a war since the 1940’s as a result.
He worked in Africa much of the time and constantly faced dangerous scenarios, not the least of which were the cooks in the mining camps he frequented. They were dubbed ‘Bait Layers’ for a reason and made Nha Trang’s resident poisoners, PICKLE DICK and THE MIRROR look like 5 star Michelin chefs by comparison.
He thought he would liven up Nha Trang Hash with a bit of adrenaline, as it was his turn to set a run. He was bored with rice fields, villages, water buffalo and even DOSAGE’S ball buster hill climbs. “Nope, let’s get their buttocks clenching a bit” he thought.
So, 51 ‘sheep’ were herded onto the bus at Patrick Wine Bar and shipped off to the south. But halfway to Bai Dai Beach the bus stopped and cattle prods used to drive the unwilling passengers out and onto the main highway. For 20 minutes, they dodged buses, trucks and bikes with a sheer cliff overhead on one side and a 100’ drop into the ocean on the other with just a 250mm path between here and eternity. Not realizing it could get worse, the pack headed off down a side track, firstly avoiding a very angry local and then over about 1km of cliff side boulders with loose rocks and looser bowels if one believes the terrorized tales of DICK FROMAGE and HAIRY BUSH. A drink stop at one of the beach shacks saw tales of woe exchanged by the pack and a growing resolve to do for the hares, who by now were a bit thin on the ground. The chants of KILL, KILL, KILL led by a furious TILL FINGERER and being urged on by THE NUDIST and SHORT AND CURLY gave away the mood and hiding behind trees seemed a prudent step. After a beer, but still muttering dark oaths, they wobbled off to the runs finish point up the beach. LUSTY, was not leaving her hiding place for anything. It was safe and warm. Oh no, MARY POPPINS can organize the bus, it was his idea and she didn’t fancy a lynching at all.
Unsurprisingly, the mood became even more murderous when the great unwashed found there was no bus and therefore no beer at the end of the run. Finally it arrived with both hares blaming the other which confused the rabble sufficiently to stop a double hanging, and the ‘vibe’ improved with each beer consumed. A close run thing, but the hares got away with it. They were iced, JUST DENNIS (7 years old) was further iced for chatting up LUSTY and she for letting him. There were rumours that this was the actual reason for the bus’ late arrival and the ‘That’s my boy’ look on MARY POPPIN’S face pretty much confirmed it. BOOTY CALL and CHEAP DATE were given the CUNTSTUBBLE PANTLESS Memorial Condom for some very racy dialogue during the drink stop…..”How would you like it, painful or dirty” Their claims of innocence fell on deaf ears.
OXYMORON, for the third week in a row was iced for not wearing a Hash shirt as were SANDY CRACK, THE NUDIST, WELL HUNG and others. PICKLE DICK had sobered up long enough to get his first hangover in years and JUST DADE was
Christened ARSE SLAPPER. The logic? Dade = Daddy = “Who’s Your Daddy?” a common cry of delight while slapping the arse of ones partner while on the job, doggy style = ARSE SLAPPER. Simple eh?
Meanwhile, back in Thailand. CUNTSTUBBLE PANTLESS had reconciled with Miss Pussy Pong, the bottle opening, ping pong ball shooting woman of his dreams who had stolen his wallet, phone and virginity in one foul swoop. Luckily he knew where he could still find the boxes they came in. Between rehearsing her act and working they had been getting their heads together, planning a felonious attack on the innocent, sex crazed tourists of Bangkok. However, trouble was brewing. CUNTSTUBBLE PANTLESS had been given custody of Miss Pussy Pong’s hamsters during their non-working hours and he was getting jealous. He didn’t like competition, no not one little bit…….
Next run: Run # 118:
May 3, 2015
(at some location to be selected by the hares when they get around to it)
Led by the illustrius Sandy Crack and Booty Call
Time: The Pack will take off at 3:00...ish.
(you are urged to be there at 2:30 PM to get your act (and ours) together)
The bus will leave from Patrick Wine Bar: 3/3 Tran Quang Khai
Cost: 120,000 VND (60,000 VND for Vietnamese) (includes bus and water and sometimes even booze and snacks)
Generic run information:
Ex-pats: 120,000VND (20,000VND less when there is no bus needed)
Vietnamese: 60,000VND (Why do we have a reduced price?)
The price of the hash was established to cover our actual of our primary activities.
The members of the committee feel the Hash is enhansed by the presence of local citizens. At teh same time, we recognize that few Vietnamese have the same level of income as the expats living here. An "across the board" alternate price was set for our Vietnamese participants. Roughly this means that we allow the Vietnamese to come "at cost". Note that we do not "means test" the individuals: all Vietnamese are welcome at this price (any who wish to pay the full cost paid by foreigners are welcome to do so; but no one is expected or required to do that)
The price includes: the run, bus, drinks during the run, drinks and snacks at the circle after the run.
Date and Time:
We will run every Sunday at 3:00 PM
All runs start at Patrick Wine Bar: 3/3 Tran Quang Khai
But see link above for a complete listing of our known future runs.
Run reports and pictures
Now you can access Run Reports, Pictures and Hasher listings all from the main menu (past runs);
Why do we Ice?
Because icing can be good for you. Just compare the evidence from our recent run:
Hashing: What’s it all about?
(Borrowed shamelessly from the wankers up in Ha Noi)
If you like a regular social (or anti-social) gathering with a couple of drinks (or more) and a bit of sweat, the Hash might be something for you. The Hash is a very social and international, recreational cross-country running for fun activity. Put simply: we run, socialize and drink a little beer.
The idea of hashing was born around 1938 in Kuala Lumpur, Malaya, as a club for drinkers with a running problem. They called themselves the Hash House Harriers (HHH), named after the building were they started from. You can find more details about the origins in our (currently non-existent) History section.
Nowadays an estimated 2000 chapters, spanning all 7 continents uphold this tradition on a regular base.
Every Hash chapter has its own interpretation of this idea, but generally, the pack (the runners) try to follow a trail, laid by one or two club members (the Hares or Does). By putting false trails, the Hares make sure that quick runners arrive more or less at the same time at the finish as the crawlers/walkers/joggers. There are no winners and upon completion, everybody is rewarded with a couple of drinks in the 'circle' where the emphasis is on fun and spontaneity.
Why we are so famous!
Before the Nha Trang Hash had even held its first event it was already featured in Harrier magazine!